Taking Inventory

I’ve been thinking quite a bit about why my weight loss efforts have stalled and I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ve been trying to do too many things at once.  I’ve set so many goals for myself that there is no way I can accomplish everything I’ve set out to do.  Basically, I’ve been setting myself up to fail.  Why would I do this?  I deserve success.  I’ve earned it.  So I’m taking inventory of what’s most important to me and focusing on those things first.   Makes sense right?  Not so much.  There are so many things I believe are important that it’s difficult to eliminate some of them.  New direction….figure out what is least important to me.  Numero uno……running.  I’m going to confess something here…I hate training for a race.  Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy when I’m running on the treadmill at the gym and the awesome workout I get from it, but I do not enjoy the pressure of training for a race.  I haven’t run for 2 weeks and I know it’s because I’m not looking at it as a stress relief anymore.  This 10k looming is making me stress even more.  No more race training.  I will continue to run at my leisure and a pace that works for me.  If I feel like running that 10k in September I’ll run it and if not….so what.  OMG I feel better already.

Number two on my list of what is least important……the scale.  I’ve been obsessing about what those numbers say every time I weigh myself, which is entirely too often.  I feel good in my skin for the first time in a long time.  I can buy clothing in non-plus sizes and I’m getting compliments every day at work.  I still have a weight goal, but I’m not going to worry at this moment if the scale is going down every week.  I’m going to keep on eating right and exercising and eventually my body will get on board and drop these last 20 pounds.

The last thing I’m going to eliminate or reduce are magazine subscriptions.  I’ve got so many magazines that I haven’t touched in months.  It stresses me out just looking at the stack.  I’m going to file them and make a list of which ones I still need to read.  I’ll get to them when I can.  I will be sure to read the futures mags within a week of getting them.  No more excuses.

Am I alone in my anti-goals?  What do you do when you’ve realized that your efforts in self-improvement have backfired?

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6 Comments

  1. Linda Devlin said,

    July 28, 2010 at 12:00 am

    Being a multitasker (a word….I doubt it) seems to be part of most women’s DNA. Therefore when on overload falling short on some tasks seems all to logical of a thing to happen. I don’t like to fall short and yet I still pile too much on my plate. I say that including my literal plate too. I did that for many years until I realized that being overweight was not healthy or comfortable. I tried everything….I had successes and relapses. I have to say that I try to keep life simple now. I LOVE to run now and I write what I eat while making healthy choices. I weigh myself once a month now, or try to limit it to this, as I can obsess over numbers. I have found, like you, that I feel alright in my body and no longer wear plus size clothes so that should be enough……it’s not…..I still will strive to reach my goal but it may be at a slow pace. I will have set backs but this is a lifestyle change, not a diet, so I need to incorporate the fact that at 40 most of my life has been eating what I want and making choices that made me seek out diet plans. So, now I hope to focus on each day and not pressure myself or be overburdened by life. Life is good…..simply enjoy it is what I am trying to do :-).

    • July 28, 2010 at 1:02 pm

      Girlfriend…you need to write your own blog. Your sense of calm and faith that things will be the way they are meant to be is so inspiring to me. Just like Jen, I’m so glad we have all connected again.

  2. Jen said,

    July 28, 2010 at 1:17 am

    This is the week of change, huh? Me, I’ve tried so hard to focus on reducing stress and finding time to do things to help myself. It is hard…I feel selfish when I do things for myself, yet beat myself up when I don’t do those things and to top it all off–my work is out of hand, crazy stressful and I just want to run away from the world and hide.

    My garden has been great–it also is getting stressful–why are some of my tomatoes splitting…why didn’t my peppers take off? Where are all these weeds coming from?

    So, in my retreat into myself, I’ve notice I am actually able to get back to those goals–doing more for myself–now out of necessity. I am going to yoga–or attempting to when things aren’t cancelled and when John’s not working late or I have a sitter–trying to learn to meditate. I think it’s all helped my attitude. Also, John and I had a heart to heart about my job. He’s been super supportive of me–agreeing to my looking for something new that is only part time to help reduce my stress. So, I’ve kind of come back to my goals–doing things for myself so I don’t crack up and finding great joy in the process–realizing how fortunate I am–I love my family, my girls are healthy, my husband is supportive and understanding, I love yoga and continue to try and learn ways to help that improve my outlook on life.

    Right now, I am reading a great book (for me) called Devotion…I am exploring meditation retreats (John says I totally couldn’t do the one I found where you have to be silent for 72 hours-he might be right!)…and I am trying to find some inner peace in hopes of making it better in other parts of my life.

    Carrie, I admire you for taking inventory and realizing that you can’t do it all…that is so difficult. I am happy that you aren’t going to the race–that was adding to my stress too since my asthma’s been a nightmare this summer and I’ve worked just to keep that under control and haven’t tried much running.

    Linda–good for you for realizing what works for you and going for it. It seems like you are in a really good place in your life.

    I think being 40 requires us all to take stock and see what’s what. I am hoping to have myself a little more under control once I hit 40.5 (in October), but if I am not, there’s always 41! Take are you guys–so glad we are reconnected. Lots of love, Jen

    • July 28, 2010 at 1:07 pm

      Isn’t it funny how men seem to complicate their lives in their “mid-life” crisis mode and women want to simply in their mid-lives. I don’t know who originally made a big deal about turning 40, but they should not be thanked. I admire your ability to slow down and examine what it important to you and find what makes you feel good about yourself and life. Peace.

  3. Vicki said,

    July 29, 2010 at 7:27 am

    I’m realizing a trend here. We’re all feeling overwhelmed in one area or another and feel the need to take a step back. That’s the blessing of growing up. We realize what really matters. We also want to learn and grow and focus on what brings us joy.

    I often feel overwhelmed with trying to keep up with all of this social media stuff and blogs I want to read. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to do it all. I wonder what’s wrong with me and why everyone else seems to have it all together. Then I take a deep breath and realize it’s ok.

    • July 29, 2010 at 12:16 pm

      Really, you think everyone else has it together. NOT! That’s the great thing about social media and truthful blogging, it gives us all examples of how everyone has their own struggles and imperfections. I’m actually starting to enjoy reading blogs more than watching any TV.


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